"Life Lessons from the Tee" for Location 3 Magazine

ANGER MANAGEMENT
ARE YOU GOOD ENOUGH TO BE UPSET?

David F Wright, Ph.D, PGA

Golf is a great character assessment. Bobby Jones said he hired many attorneys in his day but he always played 36 holes with them first. In the span of 4 to 6 hours you and your playing partners are faced with frustration, success, adversity and numerous other life simulations. If your playing partner "improves his lie" on the golf course, you can be certain he will do the same off the course. How does he handle frustration? Is he calm in a storm or does he explodes and throw clubs? If he explodes on the course, he will likely explode when faced with repeated frustration off the course. Why should these mini volcanic events matter?

So what? Big deal? So I get a little angry and throw a club now and then. My friends enjoy the "show." They laugh. I might play badly for a hole or two but I get it back. I don't see what the big deal is. Let's look at the "big deal" or should I say the bigger picture,

When you have a burst of anger, research shows that your coronary artery is reduced in efficiency by 5 to 8% as a result of constriction. Ad you emotionally recover from your outburst, your coronary artery relaxes and the rush of blood through the expanded artery creates micro tears that lay the groundwork for plaque buildup, a process over years that increases your coronary risk. This risk includes both heart attack and stroke. Research shows that the highest single predictor of coronary death is a recurring hostile expression. Medical students and law students were given a test to measure hostility. Those scoring the highest on these measures were 30 times more likely to die by the age of 50 than those scoring low on the same measure. Managing anger isn't just about breaking 90, it can be a matter of life and death.

If our parent and peer models handled adversity with anger, throwing objects, yelling at others or similar behavior, these styles tend to become part of our repertoire of behavior patterns when we experience difficulty in the same or similar situations. If, for example, you father yelled and pounded the steering wheel when cut off by another car, you were learning that yelling and physical aggression were acceptable behaviors when goals were blocked or others interfered with your goal.

Years ago my good friend PGA Tour Player Pat Burke and I had just finished a round of golf. I wasn't particularly pleased with how I had played. I am easy going and seldom show anger. He must have "read" a disappointed mood in my posture. He asked what was wrong. I told him I was not pleased with how I played. You know what he said? "You aren't good enough to be upset!" I laughed. He was right. The only players good enough to be upset are those who play for a living.

I have a rule in my golf schools: Whatever you say or call yourself after a poor shot becomes you name for the rest of the school. So the next time you tee it up in a foursome you have a standing line ("You aren't good enough to be upset") and a new rule: Once you utter a comment or call yourself a name after a poor hot, it becomes your name for the rest of the round. Add a little humor to your round and you will add a valuable life lesson.

Note: You will find Dr. Wright's 5 part series on Anger Management in the Golf Tips section of his web site: www.wrightbalance.com.

Dr. Wright is a Golf Magazine Top 100 Instructor and his Gold Schools are ranked 3rd out of Golf Magazine's Top 25 Gold Schools in the US. He is an assistant coach to the University of Southern California Men's and Women's Golf Team and he gives lessons and runs his Golf Schools at Arroyo Trabuco Golf Club in Mission Viejo, CA.

He can be reached through his Golf School office at 888-620-4653 or online at www.wrightbalance.com.